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Are you scared to try something new?

I’ve always been infatuated with gorgeous paper & calligraphy.

So much so that, during my wedding planning, I spent more time selecting my invitations than choosing a dress, venue, caterer, and honeymoon destination.

My husband wanted to send me to paper rehab.

As a child, I had a fleeting brush with calligraphy. I can remember getting my first calligraphy set, setting out all the supplies, and spending hours trying to sketch the perfect ampersand.

Turns out, I wasn’t so great at my favorite thing on Earth. As a penmanship flunker in grade school, calligraphy was quite possibly the worst hobby I could have chosen.

So, I quit.

Now, as an adult with still-terrible penmanship, one of my favorite things to do is send handwritten notes to people in my life.

But, I outwardly cringe every time I soil my gorgeous Kate Spade stationery with my chicken scratch handwriting.

Unable to deal any longer, I decided to revisit my passion for Calligraphy, and enroll in a local class.

During my first class, it was abundantly clear that not only did my classmates have perfect penmanship, they were also freaking artists. Like, for a living.

My childhood calligraphy epic fail came rushing back. Suddenly, I was trapped in my 10-year-old self, shouting: “you suck, Silvana!”

But I pressed on. And before I knew it, I began to enjoy my time in class and actually feel powerful, despite my shortcomings. Sure, I am literally the worst calligrapher in class. But that leaves oceans of room for improvement. Each class, I step out with more and more confidence. I even received some compliments from classmates, which feels totally impressive coming from legit, working artists.

This is a picture of my handiwork that I snapped during my last calligraphy class… not bad for being the worst eh? Is it perfect? No. But I’m not going for perfection. I just want to be me — fancy gold ink and all.


Maybe you’ve wanted to try something new. 

Like Yoga. Art. Pole Dancing. Pick your poison.

But, you’re terrified. Terrified to be the worst one in the room.

As a current “worst one in the room” I can tell you that you reap massive benefits by stepping out of your comfort zone.

Being the worst opens up magical possibilities for growth, improvement, and insane levels of confidence that bleed into other areas of your life.

Here’s what I want you to do.

Choose one thing you’ve always wanted to try.

And, just do it.

Because being the worst, is actually the best thing that can happen to you.

xx,
Silvana

P.S. Need another confidence boost? I got you, lady.

Enroll in CHARM SCHOOL, a 6-week magical experience where you’ll stop harboring secrets that eat away at your confidence & self-esteem and begin curating the life you desire, and deserve.

You can find all the details here.

If you have any questions, or can’t decide if Charm School is right for you, let’s chat! Happy to answer any & all questions. Just contact me and I’ll personally respond.

Charm School Teasers - JPG.004

 

0 Comments Posted by: Silvana Perelli June, 2015

Femme Focus: Week of 6/22/15 ~ Justice

Our Feminine Focus this week is Justice, symbolized by the Egyptian Goddess, Maat.

If you’re not familiar with the mythology of Maat, the story goes that when people died they would be met by Maat who held a feather in one scale and the person’s heart in another. The spirit could pass to heaven if it’s heart wasn’t heavier than the feather… but if it was heavier they would go to hell (to be exact they would be eaten by the Underworld Goddess Ahemait).

Femme Focus 6-22-15

So this week our focus is on JUSTICE…
– How can you be more fair to yourself or others? Are your standard to high or rigid? Can you be a little more forgiving or soft (like a feather?

– Has someone wronged you and you’re struggling with forgiving them because it’s just not fair what they did? Stay tuned because I have an article coming out soon on this topic, but in the meantime, just sit with why is it so hard to forgive them? Is there any way you can take one step towards forgiveness (note: this is not the same as acceptance)

– Do you have an inner mean girl who is judgmental to you? (Did you read my article this week on how to deal with judgment?)

– Do you have any debts that need to be repaid? Do you need to ask for forgiveness from anyone?

Maat also reminds us to be LIGHT HEARTED…

In order to get to heaven your heart would need to be lighter than a feather, so think about:

– What are you holding onto in your heart that’s weighing you down and making you feel heavy?

– What are you ready to let go of from your past?

– How can you embrace a light hearted spirit?

– What are you trying to control in your life that you really have no control over (clue: what do you worry about happening that you have no control over)?

 

I’d love to hear from you on how you’re embracing the spirit of justice and light heartedness this week! Send me an email at silvana@silvanaperelli.com or post in the comments below.

Toodles,
Silvana

0 Comments Posted by: Silvana Perelli June, 2015

Are you holding onto clothes that don’t fit?

Peek into your closet (go ahead, I’ll wait.)

Do you have that dress from five years ago and you’re juuuuuust waiting until it fits, again?

Are you clinging to a pair of skinny jeans (with tags) that you swear you’ll wear (once you do that juice cleanse and hit SoulCycle 6x a week?)

I get it, lady.

I – too – had a stash of “one day I will fit into these,” stuffed in my closet.

Every so often, I’d take each piece out. Stare at it in the mirror. My stomach sinking. Beating myself up about not fitting into it. Ruminating over how I can fit into it, again.

Everything will just be perfect when I can fit into my “skinny” clothes. 


Here’s the thing.

Holding onto clothes that don’t fit is like constantly wishing away the person you are right now. Your entire self worth is wrapped into those garments.

I’m not going to tell you to grab everything that doesn’t fit and burn it in some dramatic fashion inferno.

But, slowly shedding the items that don’t make you feel beautiful is an instant confidence booster.

So, here’s what I want you to do.

Select one thing that doesn’t fit. Just ONE. 

And get rid of it. Donate it. Give it to a friend. Trash it. Incinerate it.

Whatever method feels pleasurable, for you.

Then take a deep breath and relish in your mini fashion purge.

Feels good to stop waiting on that ominous piece of clothing, right?

Thought so.

If you’re ready to set flame to things that don’t serve you, I’d love to see you in CHARM SCHOOL.

Charm School Teasers - JPG.002

Charm School is a 6-week magical experience where you’ll stop harboring secrets that eat away at your confidence & self esteem and begin curating the life you desire, and deserve.

You can find all the details here.

If you have any questions, or can’t decide if Charm School is right for you, let’s chat! Happy to answer any & all questions. Just contact me and let me know what’s on your mind.

To burning the old and igniting the new,
Silvana

0 Comments Posted by: Silvana Perelli June, 2015

Charm Survival Guide: How to Deal with Judgmental People

Growing up, I struggled with how my body looked.

The most common phrase, etched into my mind by family and friends was:

“Oh Silvana, you have such a beautiful FACE.” 

It was like all of my worth was wrapped from the neck up… If only I could lose a few pounds then all my troubles would melt away.

I may have been young, but I could spot a backhanded compliment from a mile away.

The truth is, there will always be people in life that believe your value solely lies in how you look.

The important thing to know is: we can’t change their values.

We can only change how we respond to their judgment and criticism.

If you’re anything like me, you’ve probably had rampant fantasies of telling these people where to shove it. Or, secretly swapping their diet protein bar for a Swedish weight gain bar, Mean Girls style.

Except, neither of those things would actually make us feel any better.

Screen Shot 2015-05-12 at 7.49.58 PM

Photo: @theashleygraham via Instagram

When I began cultivating a charmed life for myself, I created a beautiful method to deal with even the harshest critics. I thought: how would a woman with confidence & grace deal with this?

1. Don’t Engage

Surrounding yourself with positive, inspiring and uplifting people is the key to living a charmed life.

This means you may have to make some difficult decisions to stop engaging with people that bring you down. This can be as simple as distancing yourself from people in social gatherings who trigger you, or as complex as breaking off a toxic relationship. It could also mean you set really strong boundaries if there are people in your life that you can’t completely cut off.

2. Ground Yourself

In circumstances where distance is not possible (for example: a family member who criticizes you, but you’re not willing to distance yourself from them) anticipate the conflict ahead of time with a grounding meditation. This 5-minute grounding meditation will connect you with your core and create an energetic force field that acts as a safe haven against judgment. You could also do this meditation after any anxiety inducing experience.

3. Show Empathy

It’s not really about you. It’s about them.

Judgment is rarely personal against you.

When a criticism is spewed at me, I pause and shift into empathy.

How unhappy is this person that negativity swirls around their every thought and word?

I deflect their nasty comment and ask: “how are you doing?”

Often the simple act of caring and listening is comforting to them, and they begin to unravel some of that toxicity.

 

Are you having a difficult time dealing with a toxic person in your life? Does judgment derail your day?

I recently opened enrollment for CHARM SCHOOL, a 6-week enchanting experience where you’ll stop harboring secrets that eat away at your confidence & self-esteem and begin curating the life you desire, and deserve.

Charm School Teasers - JPG.003

I’d love to personally support you in ending the judgment and shame in your life and create a charmed existence.

You can find all the details here.

If you have any questions, or can’t decide if Charm School is right for you, let’s chat! Happy to answer any & all questions. Just contact me and ask away…

To a life free of judgment and full of charm,

Silvana

0 Comments Posted by: Silvana Perelli June, 2015

A Charming Survival Guide: How to Deal with Judgmental People

Growing up, I struggled with how my body looked.

The most common phrase, etched into my mind by family and friends was:

“Oh Silvana, you have such a beautiful FACE.”

It was like all of my worth was wrapped from the neck up… If only I could lose a few pounds then all my troubles would melt away.

I may have been young, but I could spot a backhanded compliment from a mile away.

The truth is, there will always be people in life that believe your value solely lies in how you look.

The important thing to know is: we can’t change their values.

We can only change how we respond to their judgment and criticism.

If you’re anything like me, you’ve probably had rampant fantasies of telling these people where to shove it. Or, secretly swapping their diet protein bar for a Swedish weight gain bar, Mean Girls style.

Except, neither of those things would actually make us feel any better.

Screen Shot 2015-05-12 at 7.49.58 PM

Photo: @theashleygraham via Instagram

When I began cultivating a charmed life for myself, I created a beautiful method to deal with even the harshest critics. I thought: how would a woman with confidence & grace deal with this?

1. Don’t Engage

Surrounding yourself with positive, inspiring and uplifting people is the key to living a charmed life.

This means you may have to make some difficult decisions to stop engaging with people that bring you down. This can be as simple as distancing yourself from people in social gatherings who trigger you, or as complex as breaking off a toxic relationship. It could also mean you set really strong boundaries if there are people in your life that you can’t completely cut off.

2. Ground Yourself

In circumstances where distance is not possible (for example: a family member who criticizes you, but you’re not willing to distance yourself from them) anticipate the conflict ahead of time with a grounding meditation. This 5-minute grounding meditation will connect you with your core and create an energetic force field that acts as a safe haven against judgment. You could also do this meditation after any anxiety inducing experience.

3. Show Empathy

It’s not really about you. It’s about them.

Judgment is rarely personal against you.

When a criticism is spewed at me, I pause and shift into empathy.

How unhappy is this person that negativity swirls around their every thought and word?

I deflect their nasty comment and ask: “how are you doing?”

Often the simple act of caring and listening is comforting to them, and they begin to unravel some of that toxicity.

 

Are you having a difficult time dealing with a toxic person in your life? Does judgment derail your day?

I recently opened enrollment for CHARM SCHOOL, a 6-week enchanting experience where you’ll stop harboring secrets that eat away at your confidence & self-esteem and begin curating the life you desire, and deserve.

I’d love to personally support you in ending the judgment and shame in your life and create a charmed existence.

You can find all the details here.

If you have any questions, or can’t decide if Charm School is right for you, let’s chat! Happy to answer any & all questions. You can contact me here.

 

To a life free of judgment and full of charm,

Silvana

0 Comments Posted by: Silvana Perelli June, 2015

Femme Focus: Week of 6/15/15

Hey lady loves!! Hope you’re enjoying the week so far. Today is a super powerful New Moon in Gemini.

Mystic Mamma says: “The New Moon is here in Gemini featuring some strong Mars energy. We must exercise mindfulness with our words and our will, and harness our creative fires into taking positive steps toward a more aligned future!”

Silvana Perelli Vasaka's photo.

It’s quite fitting that the Feminine Focus card for the week is the 5 of Crystals. For a few weeks there’s been a bit of a heavy, sometimes life altering, energy. I know I’ve felt that and there’s been many endings which have made way for new beginnings. 

The 5 of Crystals points to the sense of worry or loss in our lives amidst all this change AND to remind us that we have the power to be reborn in this situation. There is light at the end of the tunnel. Have some optimism for the future.

This card reminds us of the transitions and seasons in nature and in life. Nothing is ever perfect, failure is inevitable, just as new opportunities are.

This is a beautiful card for the week given that today is a NEW moon – a time for new beginnings, new opportunities, and setting our intentions. Instead of focusing on the negative or the doors that have closed, look towards the future and what dreams and wishes are ready to be manifested.

As Mystic Mamma says, we must be careful with our words and our will… that’s because we create our reality and our future. So if you find yourself unhappy with your situation, it’s because your present reality isn’t aligned with what you desire for yourself. Instead of focusing on the past, choose your actions and your words because astrologically the energies are supporting us as we embark on our new reality.

0 Comments Posted by: Silvana Perelli June, 2015

You’re Cordially Invited…

Hello Darling!

Do you find any of the following thoughts running through your mind?

“If I just get through this cleanse/diet, I’ll finally feel good enough to date/shop/put on a bikini.”

“I’ve lost touch with so many of my friends. I turn down invites to drinks or dinner because I’m so afraid I can’t say no to a heaping plate of pasta, or eat more than my share of that gooey chocolate cake.”

“I can’t go to that party. No one will want to talk to me. Plus, nothing fits me or looks good on me.”

“It’s 90 degrees out and I’m sweating in my long sleeves and pants, but I wouldn’t be caught dead wearing shorts and a tank top because I’m so out of shape.”

If this rings true for you, I’ve got marvelous news.

You’re cordially invited to an experience
… that you’ll feel totally confident to show up to…
… regardless of how you feel about your body right now…

Charm School Invite

Charm School is for you if:

  • You’re struggling with self-esteem or self-confidence
  • You’re ready to feel great in your body
  • How you look on the outside doesn’t reflect how you feel on the inside
  • You want to live a charmed life
  • You’re ready to embrace your femininity and treat yourself to something special
  • You’ve been wanting to make new friends but don’t know how
  • Losing weight without dieting (or trying) sounds amazing to you

Click here to learn more + enroll in the summer semester.

Hope to see you there!

With love and oodles of charm,

Silvana

P.S. Have questions? Feel free to reach out to me directly at silvana@silvanaperelli.com

0 Comments Posted by: Silvana Perelli June, 2015

Introducing The Charmed Woman’s Guide to Diet-Free Weight Loss

I’ve been a busy bee creating my new e-book The Charmed Woman’s Guide to Diet-Free Weight Loss: An Elegant Approach to Losing Weight Gracefully.

It’s totally fabulous (if I don’t say so myself) and totally FREE so grab your copy now. Just enter your name and email at the top of this page to instantly download the guide.

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I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed creating it.

With love and charm,

Silvana

 

0 Comments Posted by: Silvana Perelli June, 2015

How to Live Like Marie Antoinette (without a royal budget + without losing your head!)

Marie Antoinette…

marie1

A daring fashionista who took 18th century France by storm.

 

I’m endlessly intrigued by the extravagance of her monarchy.

 

The ornate ball gowns. The voluminous hair. The exaggerated curves made possible with tight corsets and dramatically wide skirts. The exquisite perfume.

 

And let’s not forget the whimsical accessories and décor that fashioned her palace and gardens.

 

Swoon…

Did you know having a Hall of Mirrors like in Versailles is the equivalent in modern day times as decorating your home with diamond studded wallpaper? You have to give them credit for their commitment to decadence + indulgence!

If you’re as obsessed with the fabulous Antoinette as I am, here are some fabulous ways to add opulence to your life (without a royal budget).

Accessorize

Adding a Marie Antoinette-style bauble will immediately spice up any outfit.

Check local vintage stores for bold rings or necklaces.

 

Beauty 

You may not be ready to rock her famous pompadour or bold, bright blush but you can channel her beauty through gorgeous packaging.

Grab a stunning bubble bath or pick up some vintage perfume bottles from a thrift store. Everything is better when wrapped in pretty packaging.

If you’re ready to fully commit and actually smell like a royal, here’s one of my favorite perfumes of all times. It’s called Black Jade and is a replica of Marie Antoinette’s favorite scent. You can own a little piece of history — the secret recipe and her last vial of perfume survived through the centuries.

If you missed it a couple of weeks ago, go here to learn more about my other favorite perfumes and get additional details on the Black Jade perfume.

 

Entertaining & Dining

Infuse lavishness into your entertaining and dining.

Sip tea from vintage teacups.

Eat weeknight dinner on your good china.

Fill your table with gorgeous fresh peonies.

 

Charmed Life Challenege

If you’re falling head over heels for Marie Antoinette’s style, check out my Charmed Life Challenge.

It’s five enchanting days where you’ll take exquisitely simple steps to create your charmed life (and it’s completely free!)

Get charmed, by signing up here.

And feel free to share with any of your friends who you think could use a little extra charm in their life. The more the merrier!

 

0 Comments Posted by: Silvana Perelli May, 2015

Forgiveness is Self-Love (+ Feminine Focus Cards for the Week of May 11, 2015)

 Forgiveness is an Act of Self-Love

This week my blog is inspired by the Feminine Focus Cards I pulled for the week of 5/11/15. As you know, every week I pull a couple of cards from various decks to help cultivate a sense of presence and intention.

Both cards this week have a theme of Forgiveness and it got me thinking that when you break it down, forgiveness is actually an act of self-love.

Femme Focus Cards 5-11-15

 

The Cards: Forgiveness + Blessed
The Femme Focus: Forgiveness + Mercy

Forgiveness: 

There are whole books written on forgiveness but for this week think about Alan Cohen’s quote.

“You have the power to take someone’s happiness by refusing to forgive. That someone is you.”

The only person you’re hurting by not forgiving is you.

Forgiveness is not an approval of past wrong doings, instead it’s a gift to yourself that frees you from the prison of holding onto old grudges and stories.

In nature when animals have a squabble they move on once it passes. The injustice happens once, it’s dealt with, and then they move on. Many animals literally shake it off.

In comparison, humans have a tendency to torture themselves by suffering the same injustice repeatedly. When you relive it in your mind or heart it’s like it keeps happening to you over and over again.

Don’t get me wrong, forgiveness is definitely easier said than done, especially when the transgression is major or life altering. So for this week we’re going to start small (see below ideas).

Blessed: 

The Blessed card says: “Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy. Mercy is a rare word, one hardly spoken.” The definition of mercy is compassion or forgiveness shown toward someone whom it is within one’s power to punish or harm. 

The key here is that mercy is within YOUR power.

When you hold onto the hurt and old stories you’re actually putting yourself in victim-mode… something has happened TO you.

But when you forgive, you take the power back. You’re now in empowered-mode. You’re in control of your destiny. You get to decide how long you want to relive an old story.

The card is called “Blessed” not “Mercy” because through the act of compassion and forgiveness you in fact receive mercy yourself.

Forgiveness is not something you give another. Forgiveness is something you give yourself.

And often sometimes, the person we most need to forgive is ourselves.

 

Feminine Focus for the Week:

– Notice when you’re judging yourself or others. Don’t judge yourself for judging. Just choose a better feeling thought in that moment.

– Speak with kind words

– Think compassionate thoughts about yourself and others

– Start small: What’s something small you can forgive about yourself or someone else? Are you resisting forgiving? Why do you think that is?

– Do a random act of kindness for someone else. Being kind to others can help you soften the walls around your heart. This website has hundreds of ideas for random acts of kindness.

– Ask for forgiveness. Ooh I snuck in an advanced practice! Is there anyone you think you should ask for forgiveness from? Have you been meaning to apologize for something and you haven’t yet mustered up the courage? Here’s your chance!

 

I hope you find some peace this week as you practice self-love in the form of forgiveness this week.

0 Comments Posted by: Silvana Perelli May, 2015
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    Working with Silvana helped me realize the cause of my emotional eating and what I could do to get back on track. She found the void I was trying to fill with food and how I could work past it. Silvana is very intuitive and has an uncanny ability to draw out the underlying obstacles to feeling happy and healthy. I highly recommend Silvana for any woman who is struggling with overeating or who wants to lose weight.
    Dorian Romer New York, New York